The Unbearable Lightness of Being 4:27 PM

"This same symmetrical composition - the same motif appears at the beginning and at the end - may seem quite 'novelistic' to you, and I am willing to agree, but only on the condition that you refrain from reading such notions as "fictive," "fabricated," and "untrue to life" into the world "novelistic." Because human lives are composed in precisely such a fashion
They are composed like music. Guided by his sense of beauty, an individual transforms a fortuitous occurrence (Beethoven's music, death under a train) into a motif which then assumes a permanent place in the composition of the individual's life."

Almost an Alum - But not yet. 5:54 PM

I just watched six episodes of Friends in a row. And then I freaked out. See, here's the thing. Joey and Chandler eventually stop being roommates. Monica and Rachel eventually stop being roommates. I never registered this massive, irreversible change like I did today. Let's reflect. I have been living with my one roommate for a long time now. Despite the fact that we're across the world from one another at the moment, she's a huge part of my life, and half of what is getting me through this long, lonely summer, is the fact that in a month and eight days, we (and our other amazing roommate) will be back in our apartment sinking into that super old, completely unstructured blue couch, making ramen noodles and mac and cheese with peas and corn and crushed red pepper and drinking cheap wine. I was sitting at my desk at work the other day and I started thinking how little time I have left at college. I kept thinking about it, and I tried to stop, I did(!), but I suddenly found myself counting how many days I had until college was over. I don't know why I counted. It was nauseating, like that staring at a car crash thing everyone alludes to in these sort of situations. What the hell am I going to do when I am not longer constantly surrounded by my best friends? What the hell am I going to do when I no longer have both my roommates busting into my room when excrement hits the ventilation system (trying to keep this PG here) and crying with me, or carrying me home from Uptown after I have idiotically slipped on the ice while wearing my black stilletto boots in -5 degree weather? I don't know how this didn't dawn on me before, but it's become a hyper-reality in the past few days. 

I had dinner one of them last night and on the entire 50 minute drive home (the story is funny actually... or really dim... but for those of you who will get this, Sandeep lives on a West Chester (or something) drive and Kels lives on a Westchesterlandtrailetc. (or something else, obviously) drive. Both of the addresses are saved in my GPS and I selected the one on top, figuring I had been to Kelsey's more recently than I had been to Sandeep's. The entire drive I didn't realize a single thing, I was chatting away on my phone, listening to music loudly, on cruise control (ha! figuratively!) and suddenly found myself at the gas station that Lubna and I once had to stop at for Ginger Ale because... well... we had a rough night before. I was about an hour and a half from Kelsey's, about an hour and a half from my apartment, and way too far from my evening drinks) all I could think about was how quickly life passes by. Her and I weren't even friends last year, and all of a sudden we miss two weeks and we're itching for our weekly dinner and drinks dates. It's wild, actually.

I have four more months of college ahead of me, and I intend to live every second of it to the fullest. And although I have to maintain my GPA (I'll figure that out later), I vow to act in accordance with the rules of the elders (Kalit, Sandeep, my heart goes out to you two) and force everyone, including myself, to party. Because frankly, that is how memories are made.

Yes, I said it. The aunty has spoken. 

So here's to this highly uncreative and extremely juxtaposed blog post, to all of my unbelievable friends who I cannot wait to see, to all of the insane experiences we are about to have, and to my last semester as a college kid. Holy Excrement.

Your Highly Irresponsible, "adrenaline junky" friend,

A

A Random Musical Observation 2:45 PM

As a rather fervent lover of music, I have realized certain subtle trends that have inched up on the music industry and have then, very quickly disappeared. In the early 2000s, mainstream Rap and R&B music took a sharp, climatic turn from the days of Coolio’s rough-around-the-edges Gangster’s Paradise, TLC’s robust, girl power jams, Boys II Men’s satiated, sensual songs about love, to a cacophonous, naughty, garish (but still totally rocking) form of music  that took the pop-culture savvy world by complete storm. We were led from 50 Cent's Candy Shop where the human body suddenly became a piece of mouthwatering, shockingly desirable candy, to the club where we were almost expected to “get low,” to the bedroom where love and love making took a backseat to overly fanaticized, excuse my vulgarity, banging with numerous partners, all day, all night, all the time. Now, I am in no way criticizing this growing hyper-sexuality found in music, in fact, some of my favorite jams at the moment are in fact placed in a “Bang” playlist on my iPod and played (very very) frequently. What I’ve noticed recently, however, is that although there is still an undeniable demand for this sex-driven music, these previously crude songs have taken on a new persona. They’re still fun, upbeat, sexy as hell, but they also discuss love, being in a relationship, getting married, going home to the same girl at the end of the night. I pointed this observation out to a friend the other night, and she claimed that it was just “where I was at in my life” that made me notice these themes more, not an actual movement towards them. But I’m convinced. Take for instance the very popular, very sexy, very awesome song “Best I Ever Had” by Drake. This song is so good. There is no denying it. It’s catchy, it has a great beat, Drake maintains the super hot feel inherent in this type of music, but weaves within it lines like “Baby you’re my everything, you’re all I ever wanted,” “you can have my heart or we can share it like the last slice,” “sweatpants, hair tied, chillin with no makeup on, that’s when you’re the prettiest I hope that you don’t take it wrong”. I can’t help but feel like that just wasn’t around before. Solja Boy, who was quite keen on “Superman(ing) dat hoe,” now wants his lady to “Kiss (him) through the phone” and calls her his “future wifey”. I mean, come on, how can that not make you swoon? Anyway, I’ve moved from my very Indie, Underground Rock, Folk phase to a substantially different one. Just thought I’d reiterate, if it’s not absolutely and completely apparent from this post. I have been rocking out like like a wild ass dutty-wining woman to this new wave of radio Rap and R&B and I honestly can’t get enough. I even use lines from these songs as metaphors for my life. Can you believe it? I text in Beyonce.

I’m going to spend my evening rockin’ my thang, yes, alone in my apartment.

Your “Really Wishes She could be a Rapper Instead of a Writer” Friend,

A